I need a Kindergarten Intervention

My oldest has gone to Kindergarten. It is a day that I have been dreading almost since the day she has been born. I cried when she turned one and that was a bad day. This in comparison was that day on steroids. I was hysterical. I called both of my parents and was completely and utterly sobbing. It was the ugly cry where you can't catch your breath and talking is impossible. They barely could understand a word that was coming out of my mouth.

I am not ready for this at all. I am no longer the person she sees the most in a given day. I can no longer spy on her as she plays by herself or with her sister to see what she does when she doesn't know I am looking. I won't know when she gets frustrated when she tries something new. I won't see her when she makes a new friend and has "girl talk" with someone in the cafeteria. I won't be there when she gets her feelings hurt when she is excluded from being in a group of kids. I won't see her helping someone else with a task and the proud look on her face afterwards. I won't see her "light bulb moment" when she discovers something new. I won't be there to correct her she says or does something that she knows she shouldn't. I won't be there to give her hug when she is dissapointed that she really isin't the fastest 5 year old runner in the world. I can't protect her from everything any more. I no longer know exactly what she does in a standard day. I will forever have to wonder exactly what she is doing at school because no matter what she tells me when I ask, "What did you do at school today," her 2 minute explanation could not begin to cover the 7 hours that I missed in her life that day. And one day she will answer with, "nothing" and then I really won't know what happened for 7 hours of her day.

Girls can be mean and cruel

I was at the gym today. I had finished a workout and was in the shower. The gym is hosting a summer program where the kids can have pool time and then shower after wards. These girls were calling each other liars during a fight. Then one of he girls says that another one is "full of poo." She replies that she was the one "full of poo" and that she was the "color of poo" and "smelled like it too." Of course the girl that was receiving the comment was black. I felt horrified about it. The poor girls just quit talking. I literally ached for her. I did not hear what happened afterwards since the girls went to go get ready and I was mid shower. Once I was dressed, I found the teacher with kids. I told her what I heard and she said the girls let her know about it and it was "taken care of." Hopefully, it was.

Anyways, it made me realize that kids can be really mean and my goal is to keep my kids from behaving in that manor. I was horrified and I think that if that mom of the child had heard her child, she would have been mortified. I know I would have been.

Anyways, that's it for me.

Can't a Girl Get Laid?

I admit it. I need to have sex. I have let my DH know that I am interested and willing and its been since Sunday. I know. I know. Its only been 2 nights since the last "extra-curricular" activities, but come on! It was mostly a bj given and some "toy fun" followed by some light and gently fun time, but I was left wanting more. Any other man that was offered sex from his wife or girlfriend or bed buddy would likely take them up on the offer, but not mine. I can understand that he is tired or stressed or has to get up early in the morning. I get that. I am not asking for a long drawn out thing. I would not mind something in between "animal instinct" screwing and "swinging from the chandeliers" sex. Is that too much to ask? Apparently! I have asked for 2 nights in a row and been denied twice. He had better give it up on our trip since we will be in a king size bed for the first time without the kids sleeping between us. Where has my husbands sex drive gone? He isn't even 30 yet. Is it already gone? Or is it that he no longer is interested in me? I don't get it. We have been doing the dating thing and he was Greatly Appreciated for doing the house work last weekend. I can't do much more. I don't think if I went to bed naked he would be interested. I dunno. I am frustrated and needing to be laid.

We are good again

I am finally happy with my husband again. We have been going out on weekly dates. I am loving my new job at the scrapbook store. I get breaks from the kids every week now. And to top it off, over the weekend, my DH cleaned the house. He cleaned our dinette table and the kitchen floors. He vacuumed the family room after he decluttered it. He had the kids pick up their stuff upstairs. And he did the yard work as well. I could not have been more thrilled to come home to a clean house. He was well rewarded I believe. And I am stoked about it.

just needing to whine

OK, so I sort of agreed to watch E's kids so that S and E could go play tennis tonight and now I don't want to. I am cramping and in a bad mood and I really don't want to put up the 4 kids. I don't want to deal with mine, much less his 2. My house is a freakin' mess and it puts me in a bad mood. I just want it clean, but with no help it won't happen. I can take 3 steps forward during the week, but S can manage to put me 5 steps backwards. I am getting so frustrated by the entire thing. I just want my house clean. And I want my kids to go to sleep. Particularly the big one. AARG! It is so frustrating.