just needing to whine

OK, so I sort of agreed to watch E's kids so that S and E could go play tennis tonight and now I don't want to. I am cramping and in a bad mood and I really don't want to put up the 4 kids. I don't want to deal with mine, much less his 2. My house is a freakin' mess and it puts me in a bad mood. I just want it clean, but with no help it won't happen. I can take 3 steps forward during the week, but S can manage to put me 5 steps backwards. I am getting so frustrated by the entire thing. I just want my house clean. And I want my kids to go to sleep. Particularly the big one. AARG! It is so frustrating.